it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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