is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
