I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i barfeds in our rink
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
