We named our party play list daddy issues
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
