PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
