They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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