you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Everything about him screamed your future.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
