I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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