I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
