im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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