I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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