You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
