Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
