My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
