I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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