I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
