Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
