I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
