Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
