I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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