At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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