i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
As shirtless as possible
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
