Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
