There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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