plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
