margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
