i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
