this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
