Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
