But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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