Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
