i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
