Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
