Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
