You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
