my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
