you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
