he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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