They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
