I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
