Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Randomize
