She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
