Buhtt sex?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
