is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
