addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
