You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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