I faked an abortion last night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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