that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
