Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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