Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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