I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
